October 1, 2012

Another month gone. We have been in Vitoria for nearly a month now. My how the time has flown in a flurry of begging and pleading and yes, sometimes, more than I care to admit, swearing, to get the children to get their work done. It has been a nightmare, and the hardest thing I have ever attempted.
And the truth is...I failed miserably. I don't have the patience to sit and talk calmly to a student for 210 minutes (yes you read that right no typo there) to get them to write an essay on three important innovations of the 19th and 20th c. Particularly when the three topics came readily to their attention and they were able to freely express with me what those three innovations were. Now the challenge is to write down those three innovations in a coherent essay that shows that SOME writing skills were learned in the education one had received in their elementary school. It was not to be borne. No amount of calmly asking, requesting, requesting, pondering, wondering, worrying, demanding, accusing, finally crying, swearing and insulting could get the job done. I tend to lose focus after two hours.
After many assassinations on my character as a teacher, I finally stated, no teacher would sit with one student for an entire afternoon during a full work day and beg and plead with one student to do their work. You know what that teacher DOES, since we are all about maintaining those healthy teacher/student boundaries and not trying to cross hairs with those healthy parent/child boundaries? Well let me tell you, child. Here's a lesson from the School of Hard Knocks, child....Ready? Because here it is...

That teacher would FAIL your ass.

 For the amount of effort you put into that assignment, you should be glad there is only an F for Failure because in my world, that qualified for a G grade...Grotesque. It was disappointing to say the least.

After a few stressed-out emails passed back and forth between the two parents, the father decided to come home early and drop the hammer. That was when the real fun started, and things were said and words were exchanged that cannot be taken back, and all I could come away with was...

I hope I am alive to see you try doing this someday. Good luck.

The parents took turns yelling at the kids, then changed their shoes, changed their clothes, grabbed their purse and their keys and left the apartment. For a good long while the parents stomped through the neighborhood one crying and asking Whyyyy and the other one shaking their head just as confused and demanding a solution to the problem. Hence the discovery of a new taverna where the two nursed two cervezas (Hey! How come yours is so much bigger?)  while listening to 80's hip hop. Over Pebbles "Girlfriend" we came up with the following New School Guidelines:

Beloved handed me his phone and I sent myself an email, which he read to the children/delinquent youths as Doe, our oldest dictated. I laughed inside as she said upon hearing New Rule #1 "Ohhhh....noooo...I am not even writing this one DOWN"...but No, that is the new house rule. Beloved wakes them up as he gets ready for work, and Mom gets to 'facilitate' during the day.

If they fail an assessment, they do not get to take it over (Hello Five-time Test taker!). They take that failing grade and will hopefully learn to ask for help from Mom during the day.

Meanwhile, I, in my infinite education about social graces and parenting with natural consequences, do not try to scare them into doing their work by trying to scare them by using the 'F' word...

And as we left the taverna emboldened by drink and a nascent hot sun... after a gloomy and cloudy morning...

W

Wakey-wakey! Rise and shine! Doesn't this weather make you want to hop out of bed and do maths???

Beloved said something stolen from the classic book, "Words of Encouragement From an Engineer"

"Don't get too hung up on this. It's just a bad day. It's just another data point."