Life outside of Itself

Permissions and Opinions are interchangeable and unfortunately not exclusive. You  want permission? You also get an opinion. Call it a 'freebie'. Until there is no longer need for permission- opinion will continue to be offered. And it may not even be on what permission is being asked for. Crazy!
You want an opinion? You don't need to ask permission. Unless you are asking permission. And then of course you will get an opinion. The coolest thing is: I totally respect your asking of permission and am not as likely to give my opinion on what you're asking my permission for. Because your asking permission trumps my opinion. But again they are exclusive of one another.
 My opinion is still exclusive of my permission. If you are still asking permission it tells me you still need my opinion.
 And then you get my opinion. Which you may not always respect. But it's my opinion. And because you asked my permission you also get my opinion.Which I give you out of respect. And Love.
And when you no longer need our permission? It's when in our opinion you don't need it anymore.
Which is when we drive away and leave our Life-our Life outside of ourselves-you- ready to Live alone.
Have you ever seen your Life walking outside of yourself-independent on yourself? It is a scary frightening thrilling thing. In my honest opinion. Sometimes it's terrifying. But mostly it's awesome.
We pray though that the permissions we've given and the opinions we've given will support a day... When you ask our opinion but you don't need our permission.

Lord of the Flies

Impaler

Vladimir Putin should be charged with murder.

MH17

Obama rips Romney on his Russian foreign policy. 2012 debate. Let's watch it again. How prescient the former Republican candidate was. 

What we see by the Candidate Obama is a daunting display of hubris and unfounded bravado. No one delights in the folly of the wicked, but one should take notice that in Life, somehow the truth always comes out. Despite the cost of lives.

Truth takes a heavy wage.

It's unfortunate that our current administration failed to take the crisis in the Ukraine seriously.

                                                       Maybe 295 people would still be alive.

Just maybe. 

Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims of this brutal act of terror. 

Here is how Obama handles the news of American lives lost yesterday

                                         

Maybe he should have waited and dedicated an entire news conference to an American terrorist attack.

In comparison here is how former Presidents reacted to the loss of  American lives caused by terrorism

President George W. Bush

 v                                       

President Ronald Reagan on the loss of 60 American lives on Korean jetliner flight 007 

As I write this I am listening to the Youtube video of Clinton's speech on the tarmac from 1996 (I am sorry I could not post the video itself).

Something about the manner in which Clinton addressed his nation and acknowledged the victims' families was very moving to me.

Could someone please remind Mr. Obama that Yes, the 1980s called and they want their foreign policy back? That knocking sound? It's the sound of Buk missile on your airliner.

What has happened? What has happened to our nation? How do we go from compassion to 'calling it in'? Obama's remarks yesterday are going viral on Twitter...and he is not faring well.

If I agree with Piers Morgan, it must really be that bad out there. 

Piers Morgan @piersmorgan · 22h

Just awful > Rt @joshgroban @piersmorgan I totally agree. Bad prep. I was shocked.

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Piers Morgan @piersmorgan · 22h

Let me help, Mr President - it IS a terrible tragedy, and it's more probably mass murder of your citizens & many other nations' citizens.

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Piers Morgan @piersmorgan · 22h

President Obama massively dropped the ball just now. 23 Americans killed and he says 'it looks like a terrible tragedy' then back to jokes?

Dear God we pray for all of those families who lost loved ones on the flight shot down over the Ukraine yesterday. 

And we pray for our President to start stepping up. 

Going All Rapunzel

Literally one of the best articles on raising strong women  I have ever read....in book form or on the Interwebs. Good, good good.

Parenting 101

Natural consequences are far worse than anything we could do as parents. It is not about being disobedient or not listening to us. It's about not caring about yourself enough to pay attention. As parents our hearts hurt just as much when mistakes are realized.
But not only because of disobedience. But out of the nature of natural consequences.
They are scary and bring things to light like maturity, reality and truth.
And as the saying goes...the truth hurts.

It stops being about us and our feelings long before we are ready to stop taking it personally. It's not about us. Maybe it never was. For many it will never be about making their parents happy. They have to find that compass from within.

The trick for parenting is this: to be available to them when natural consequences occur. Not only to see the reality pass over their countenance-and realize your own sympathy and feel compassion-but to teach your children that you are there. And you don't hate them. Yes you can be disappointed and feel angry and frustrated but remember----this stopped being about you a long, long time ago.

Natural consequences should never be taken personally.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my Dad.
Here is the last time we had dinner together, November 2009. It captures who he is.

Intense.
Passionate.
Opinionated.
Brilliant.
Yet as one woman who knows and has worked with him said he is at times  "A prophet who lacks mercy".

I'm sorry we have not seemed to resolve our problems. I love you and miss you.

Fixed It.

I absolutely adore my husband. 
He said to me at dinner Thursday "I think we are going to have to get a new lawnmower."
He said "The lawnmower was on its last legs LAST summer. It was literally putting out huge black puffs of smoke." 
I always see my husband putting himself in obviously non-environmentally-friendly situations. He can do that. Because he makes his living saving the planet. It's like the cardiologist who smokes.
So we were planning on getting a new lawnmower in May.
Then yesterday he decided he was going to take it apart -one last look in the casket. Just to see what was going on.
(This is the same man who put 4-wheel drive transmission in the International Scout my parents gave us as a wedding gift... The same car that we had to pour Sprite into to get us home from our honeymoon. He resurrected that car from the dead. So yes he has mad car repair skills. Meaning It stopped needing Sprite to run.)
He takes the lawnmower apart. I have no idea what he is doing.
He comes in later yesterday afternoon, elated. It was only the air filter that needed cleaning. He cleaned a thick layer of detritus from the filter and then soaked all the parts in gasoline to fully clean them.
He says last night 'Hey Kim! I want to show you something! Come here!' I walk over to the garage where he is holding up a blue bucket. Inside the blue bucket is all of the mower parts soaking in gasoline."Smell that" he says "that is what my childhood smelled like. Machine parts soaking in gasoline". He is grinning from ear to ear.
This morning he goes back out to the garage. Wearing his Broncos knit cap, cut off shorts and a t-shirt so old it's changed into a gray color. I heard the lawnmower roar to life. He comes back in.
"Fixed it" he says. "It was only the air filter. But now I can't find the bolt that screws the air filter back into place. So I've got two rubber bands attaching it to the frame."
He brings me so much joy. Happy Sunday. 

Praemonitus praemunitus

We get it.
We understand.
You're a Senator from Illinois with absolutely no foreign policy experience.
But Mr. President...realize when you are in over your head.
Be teachable.
Don't mock your elders.  Take wisdom from those who have had more expertise and better information than yourself.
The Cold War might be over, Obama.
But that doesn't mean Russia won't invade Poland.
And that doesn't mean that on April 23, 2014- five weeks after Russia incredibly and almost mockingly invaded Ukraine-you aren't sending American paratroopers into Poland.

"The 1980s called and want their Cold War back"

It's not that we disapprove of your show of force in Europe. Oh no. No, we would never ever ever criticize your ability to finally admit some value to stabilizing Eastern Europe. 

No it's your youthful arrogance and bold-faced claims of knowing better when everyone else was patently disagreeing with your foreign policy narrative. 

Here's what I am going to propose. 

I am going to try and reach you at another level of cogniscance. Another different method of teaching. We're going to try and educate you in foreign policy using targeted learning methods specifically focused on gaining your attention. 

That's right we're going to use sports analogies. 

Fitting. 

Since Russia was invading Ukraine on March 19, 2014

 you went on ESPN and filled out your March Madness NCAA Men's Basketball bracket. 

Because acknowledging changes in world dynamics or politics is beneath you. No, better to take a blase approach and act unconcerned. Like go on national news outlets and fill out college basketball brackets. 

We get it. We appreciate your passion for sports. 

Actually thank you for sending us a message on how best to get your  attention. 

Focus on the ball. Keep your eye on the ball. 

Here's our suggestion...Better to heed the advice of those elders above. Those who have had more success with team-building and team success and winning championships. Those who take pride in the teams they've 

been given. 

Politics can be seen somewhat like athletic competition. You want that bill to pass. You want your majority to win the race...

PACs...Boosters...what's the difference.

Yes politics and sports do share commonalities. But unlike sports, politicians seem to be uncapable of respecting or listening to those pundits who have had more success and are more experienced and well-informed. It's a pride thing for this administration. 

But be humble, sir. Listen to those who have gone on before. 

Listen to people like Red Auerbach, who won nine NBA Basketball Championships. (Nine!) 

'Praemonitus praemunitus'

  Forewarned is Forearmed. 

The game is 21. What is your score. 

The BLM worries about Cattle

But in the case of the Bundys...I think they worry too much.
Warning: graphic images.

Celebrating Earth Day with the BLM

Condemnation vs Conviction

"How do we discern the difference between the enemy's condemnation and God's conviction? 

One afternoon, I’d had it with my son’s attitude, and I let him know it. Then I felt horrible for losing my temper. Feelings of guilt overwhelmed me. And, I {almost} convinced myself that's how God wanted me to feel. But then I remembered a pastor describing the difference between conviction and condemnation.

He said condemnation sweeps over us with accusing thoughts like: you’re such a failure, you’re a horrible person. It brings guilt and shame.

God’s conviction is specific, instructional and leads to restoration. He’ll show us a behavior that was wrong and give us ideas of how to make it right like nudging us to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

That day, I let God’s conviction lead me and bring restoration between my son and me by apologizing. God's grace replaced my guilt and chased all that condemnation away.” - @Renee Swope

You make beautiful things

 I celebrate Easter because I realize that I have a family in Christ, that I have a Father who loves me and cares for me unconditionally. I can do no more to earn His love than Lazarus did to raise himself from the dead. I am dead outside of His love for me. Without His love and acceptance of me, I would be dead. 

If I had to survive on the acceptance and forgiveness of  certain others, I would die of starvation. 

Thankfully I do not. I have a family that has seen me at my worst and loves me anyway. I strive to be better for them not for anyone else. 

Love begets Love, and as Scripture says, If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. -1 Corinthians 13:1

By the way...what is it about human nature that the ones we feel the most rejection and disapproval from we seek to appease? Why do we seek love from those who act the most unloving towards us? As if they are capable of being fair? As the saying goes...you may be the ripest, juiciest peach in the market, but there will always be people out there who don't like peaches. How can you even believe you can teach them to feel otherwise. It is not your job to change human nature. You don't need to strive for their acceptance. 

 I can accept that judgment and understand my role in  rejection. And the sour taste it left. But that is all I can do. The rest is on their watch. 

James 3:2-10 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

 But I can also trust in that God sees my heart now. He sees my intention. And while some might not be ready to accept that, God already did. 

That is where the apologies and emails and letters flow from. I know I have to ask for forgiveness to be accepted into His family. His family. And while I had assumed that meant others as well, I am willing to wait and pray until that day arrives. I can do no more to change their opinions of me than raise myself from the dead. 

That is the reality of Easter for me.  I may never meet the standard that they set for me to be acceptable to Him. You can believe I am unforgivable. Jesus Christ did not. And he forgave me SO much that He gave His life up for me. Within Him all things are made new, and the dead are brought to life.

I was nothing but dust. And I believe in one day to see Him beyond the veil face to face, and knowing He saw my struggle, and loved me and welcomed me into His family for eternity. 

and it  was a beautiful thing. 

Slim-fits

Any wife can attest to the challenge we face in dressing our men. Men typically don't follow the latest fashion trends or make time out of their busy schedules to go on netaporter.com or stylista. These are not priorities in most heterosexual males' daily calendars.

Beloved is no exception.
Here is where I post pictures of him wearing cut-offs and white socks and Nike sneakers.

Here is where I post pictures of him wearing his "I've got a Brown Belt in Crazy" t-shirt.
Or his Big Wheel "Old School" t-shirt.

Of course my favorite is him in his Speed Racer t-shirt because dammit it's just plain sexah.

No, Beloved's clothing cortege consists of the following....cotton button-down plaid shirts. Both short-sleeve for summer and long-sleeve for winter. These shirts will be worn to oblivion....wearing to white at the cuffs and hems with a threat of the collar splitting in two at the fold. He does not like to shop. And his shoes are no different. Pull-on loafers from Land's End or Eddie Bauer. Rotated in occasionally with steel-toe workboots for refinery visits or oil rig stops.

One recent development in his clothing attire retinue is the introduction of Old Navy Slimfit slacks. I had purchased those- at high risk of rejection- for Christmas this year. I felt this was an upgrade from the regular pleated-front, tab back-pocket Dockers that were hung precisely in his closet.

(have I mentioned my husband's profession?
He is an engineer.
 His closet-well HIS side of the closet- is in stark contrast to mine.
I am not an engineer. Okay maybe a DOMESTIC engineer---but my side of the closet looks like a rainbow vomited in it. Lots of inventory crammed into the space.  His chosen profession has its qualities and characteristics that I find appealing. Like precision. Exactitude.  It has his slacks hung neatly on hangers, with each hanger spaced precisely 3 cms apart. I don't know how he accomplishes that, but he maintains a near mathematical-order to his side of the closet. )

Beloved's expression upon opening the flat navy blue box Christmas morn was one of confusion. Distrust. He did not ask for the Slimfit style. He asked for Classic style. Old Navy. In colors of navy or khaki.

He tried on the Slimfits. It went something akin to this....

It was needless to say, not unlike putting socks on a dog. Lots of funny locomotion. 

But eventually as the months passed the Slimfits made more and more appearances on his body's rather attractive lower portion of his body. 

And on the Seventh Day God rested. 

But the discussion continued...I could tell that change is a continuing challenge for the Good Dr. While a brilliant and creative genius at all things mechanical, his confidence in personal appearance continued to daunt his daily existence. Every time the Slimfits made an appearance he would announce it as if he needed the reassurance that Yes, the Slimfits were still appropriate choice and that No, he did not look as if he was wearing yoga pants or jeggings. 

Last night he came home late from a day of graduate and faculty gathering at a local new hotspot. He says "I can't remember what they call it...Happy Hour?" He came home around 8pm and when I announced I was in the mood to watch one of our movies, he agreed.

We decided to watch 'Skyfall' which is one of our favorite movies.  

Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Ralph Fiennes...all ultimate fierce paragons of masculinity in the film. 

Whether it is Craig's dapper use of the tuxedo (lingerie for women)

Ralph Fiennes sharp British sense of style

or Javier Bardem's unique usage of geometric prints and hair dye 

the film, as Bond films usually are, was a panoply of male fashion highlights.

But all failed to register comment until the climax of the film, when Bardem and his chopperful of hoodlums debark into the cold Scottish evening to ambush Bond's childhood home.

Beloved piped up...

"Hey! All those guys are wearing Slimfits!" 

His insecurities about Slimfits were soothed. 

If it's good enough for Scottish Black Ops... it's good enough for him. 

Rrrrrr.....

So annoying...my apologies but for whatever reason my blog isn't showing up my pictures! If you are reading it and are seeing a gray minus sign icon, I am so sorry, but there USED to be a very pertinent and brilliant picture there to share!

Not forgotten

I have had 11 reads from the Ukraine this week. It had been silent for so long. So a smile did cross my lips as I read that my friends from the Ukraine and the Crimean Peninsula have resurfaced.

 Crimean soldiers refuse to re-enlist in now-Russian military

We have not forgotten you.

Bill Gothard

Seriously...Bill Gothard was 'rightupthere' alongside Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul on Scripture and Biblical teaching.

My dad followed his books on parenting and on resolving conflicts among teenagers to the letter. He was 'divinely inspired'. A 'man of God'. A 'true disciple of Christ'. A man 'to be modeled after'. We read his book "Character Sketches" for a time there every evening before dinner.

This was before we all started wolfing down our food so we could be excused faster.

Bill Gothard never married. Bill Gothard never had any children of his own.

Apparently he was too busy raising everyone else's. And by 'raising' we mean grooming into victims. Cannot be more shocked.

My Life as Gothic Novel

Interesting link on the Los Angeles chapter's investigation into these allegations.

LA Committee Questions

So much goodness...

"i live surrounded by miracles"

Not your Baby Daddy

The government is not your Baby Daddy.
Don't want your boss to be involved in your health care decisions?
Don't make them pay for it.
Take personal responsibility for your own health care.
The more you rely on yourself to make healthy informed decisions- the less you will rely on others to help you decide what to do. Money equals power and when you ask someone to pay for your choices, you will power over to them in your life.

#alfranken #playboy2000 #pornorama 

"In his Playboy romp, Franken fantasized about oral sex delivered by a machine, as well as sex with combinations of females who fit the Playboy view of women as big-breasted automatons, panting at the prospect of servicing the likes of Franken."

I wonder whether folks like Sen. Amy Klobuchar and Attorney General Lori Swanson, whose campaigns took money in 2006 from Franken's so-called Midwest Values PAC (yes, you read that right) will feel compelled to return those bucks on truth-in-advertising grounds.

Last week, spokesman Andy Barr articulated the Franken campaign's official defense as follows: "Al understands, and the people of Minnesota understand, the difference between what a satirist does and what a senator does." Key Democrats like Reps. Betty McCollum, Tim Walz and Keith Ellison already have rejected Camp Franken's attempt to explain away Al's excellent adventures in Playboyland. Will others follow?"

Maybe Franken is on to something...if Sen. Al Franken was footing the bill, I wouldn't want him to make health care decisions for me either. But in the end, he's not my boss.

He's only a Senator. 

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Time to read some Ayn Rand

“People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.” 

Wont Get Fooled Again

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgment of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
And I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again

Change it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fall that's all
But the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
And I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
No, no! 

I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?


There's nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now the parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

Yeahhhh

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss