I was slavering away on the treadmill and a tall blonde woman got on the stairclimber in front of me. 5'10, 125 lbs, cute as a button. She was accompanied by her boyfriend/bodyguard Manti Te'o (kidding...).
I at first was horribly deeply depressed.
Why even bother.
Just step off and go buy yourself a mocha latte. It's over for you.
When there are such beautiful women trolling the earth, why even bother to try and maintain any semblance of self-esteem. No more boys in college following me back to my dorm engaging in conversation. No more strange men at my workplace whispering promises.
Gone are the introductory phone calls or invitations to go out to a movie. The old grey mare just aint what she used to be ;)
And unless I garnered a rather serious eating disorder or a severe case of food poisoning, I would never reach that number on the scale ever again.
I asked myself, what is ahead of this young woman? Will she marry the man that she is chatting with next to her on the machine? What is her major? What is in store for her? And I began to wish her well.
As the miles start rolling under my feet, I started reeling in all of the things I've seen in 22 years since I was 22. And instead of mourning the many years that separate the two of us, I started feeling comforted. I realized that I have seen-and survived-a lot. Only to be on the other side of it and realize the glory of it all.
I saw a plane crash into a building not once but twice. I saw riots, floods, hurricanes, births and deaths. I've pulled a child outside of myself and shut the eyes of a dead mother. I have loved one man and watched him transform into a man of integrity, priceless value and a paragon of fatherhood. I've seen in stunning speed three children grow and stretch and become three incredibly spectacular individuals.
I've danced on the beaches in Mexico, ran nekked across a few lawns, been caught en flagrante delicto
in a hotel in France and had to shout at a maid to 'partir s'il vous plait' as she came in to service the room. I've cried at a few weddings, leaked breastmilk through a maid of honor dress, ate an octopus at a restaurant at 12 am in Spain, swum drunkenly in a pool at a wedding reception in a wool dress... only to drip pool water through the lobby as we headed out to the car. Spelunked through a mile and half of caves in Gibraltar, woken up every three hours to hook myself up to a breast pump for a baby in the NICU, slept on a hospital bed and taken not a few children to the ER. I've hugged my husband at the news of his mother's illness, cried at the news of a friend's divorce and another's cancer diagnosis. I've watched my mother being driven away in a hearse, my lover walk the line at University, gotten the phone calls at 3 am that someone needs help. Argued with other mothers, losing a few friends in the process, and committed myself to believing someone to only be completely and utterly fooled.
As I was running I saw out of the corner of my eye a man get on the treadmill next to me. Etiquette would demand one not glance over, or turn to meet said person eye to eye. No the parables of treadmill say you need to focus on the task at hand, if for no other reason than to assure that you don't totally trip and brain yourself on the machine. He gets on the machine and starts punching the speed button. Faster faster faster. Dang, I thought, this guy is going at a pretty good clip. He had good arms and from what I could sense strong legs, seeing as he is speedily got up to my mileage and was running alongside at a fast rate. I was proud that I was able to 'keep up' with someone as young as him, and that I wasn't starting to fade or lose stamina. After all of these years, maybe I could still keep up with the youngster...
22 year old me gets off the stairclimber. I'm only 20 minutes into my run. Feeling a little arrogant that I was able to work out longer than 22 year old me. The wrinkles, bags, age spots belie the fact that I am more capable to run distance than I was at 22. I got this.
My neighbor runs another 10 minutes or so, and stops his machine. Steps off and walks over to towel shelf. Glancing over I notice.
Neighbor is balding with grey hair and skinny pale age-spotted gams.
And as if on cue this song came up on my player....
And the lyrics slung home
A live wire
Babe you're a beginner but just watch
that lady Go
shes on fire
cause dancin' gets her Higher than anything else she knows
And I smiled that a song by Van Halen could crystallize exactly what I was thinking about my 3.5 miles on the treadmill.
Just watch that Lady go
And I laughed at what was ahead for the next 22....
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