Brokenness

It's been an interesting week.
It started with Tuesday and the advent of Doe's surgical repair on her clavicle. Seven screws and an 8 in. incision later she is on the mend. She has been able to raise her arm to over her head, which was a huge improvement to her prior flexibility and movement. That consisted of two broken bone ends bashing into each other.

(Sorry to the squeamish)

Six vertical screws and one horizontal screw which attached the two broken  ends together so pretty

We of course were more nervous than the patient. 

Meanwhile Doe was getting all marked up

 Dr H was in a word awesome. Hard to give over your child to a surgeon who is nearly a decade younger than you, but he was so very good with our girl.

Doe feeling no pain. I love this picture.

Doe is trying to give us a thumbs up; hard to do after having the nerve block having been administered. 

 The waiting went as well as possible with a Starbucks mocha (which has as many calories as a Big Mac). But I burned through those calories swiftly, whipping through pages of the Bon Appetit magazines scattered about. I also chatted at length with a pretty blonde woman whose boyfriend was also in surgery for a torn ACL.

He was quite the topic of discussion among Doe and ourselves. Not knowing anything about him except his massive breadth of form, and his bright green short athletic shorts, we automatically assumed he was some sort of athlete. I guessed wrestler and I was right ;). She chattered nervously about his career as a wrestler, how he enjoyed wrestling, and how much he now loved coaching the sport he grew up playing. She also made jokes about his shorts, which were hysterical. She said something to the affect of "He takes pride in the size of his thighs" and we had a good guffaw at his expense.

There is some mathematical equation that pertains to medical procedures though.  After the prescribed hour the nerves start traveling up into your neck and your stomach, and you start to feel nauseous. Dr H came out at 1hr 15 minutes wearing his white rubber surgical boots, which look like the type fishmongers wear. I was tempted to ask if the blood on his boots was from my child, but then decided I didn't. really. need. to know. He emailed us pictures and we were able to see her about 15 minutes later. When we walked back into recovery her eyes were half-closed and she looked desiccated and incredibly tired. I was glad to have her come home with us that night.

The first night was difficult, and we are forever grateful for our friends who took Tank and Bumpo for us so we could focus on Doe. She slept fitfully and then woke up crying. That was rough. But each day has gotten consistently better, and as I write she is standing on the couch in the basement using both hands playing Mario Kart with Tank. Life is good.

Doe has shown an incredible inner strength throughout this ordeal. This has not been the easiest past few months for her, with some heartache and betrayal. The majority of this occurring while Doe has been injured. I think anyone who would take advantage of a person who's injured is a special kind of 'unwell'---but that is just my humble assessment as a mother.

As the saying goes, "Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9". It is not for us to know. We just thank God for the experience of knowing these people, and move along.

I have a friend, Turtle, who I totally rely on and confide in. She is my soundingboard and I thank God for her. Here is what I shared regarding this newest drama:  I won't pry, but if prompted i am going to offer the following advice:

The more you demand them to be aware of your feelings and their completely selfish behavior, the more energy and power you give to their acts. You continue to feed that monster that has hurt you, when in reality the monster is nothing. The monster is actually a gift, a beautiful fluffy beast that is offering you the gift of insight. Growth. Wisdom. Humility. Compassion. You have open eyes and while the pain is real, it is a lesson in finding your own self-worth. You thank the monster for the gift.

I think that is a brave foundation to build from. 

But as the Lord was working on her broken body, he was also transforming her heart. While understandably hurt Doe is moving on. She sees these two as being separate from what defines her, as separate as the broken bones in her shoulder. She trusts that the Lord is going to work on her brokenness in her heart as Dr H so skillfully mended the broken bones in her body. And I sit near tears next to her in church as she scribbles furiously notes on humility and gentleness, which was the sermon of the day.

And while we are called to think of ourselves less, I cannot help to think of my daughter more. And while we are called to humility, I cannot help but take pride in the ownership that Christ has taken over my child. Because I know I can take no pride in it whatsoever. Circumstances which would crush a weaker young woman are molding her into a beautiful young woman. And like the bones grows stronger at the point of regrowth, we know that from this point in her young life Doe is a stronger person. We are comforted in the knowledge  that God is creating a new thing in her.

We are All

Soccer is not a sport for sissies

Ah the joys of spring soccer. The smell of fresh-cut grass. The sun blazing on our shoulders and bouncing up off the bleachers. The breeze of April air as we watched our Doe compete with her team against a Denver team.
I normally try not to identify juveniles or the school they attend, but for this post I shall make an exception. The team was Mountain Range. And they are evil.
Number 10, the player who shall not be named, was a complete monster on the field. She was an aggressive dirty player, who left a large wake. She had taken out a teammate earlier, Bean, by tripping and then stomping onto Bean's ankle. Bean came off the field to ice her ankle--after an entirely too long time period on the turf.
BTW, when you are a parent whose child player is injured on the field of sport, there is no time. The timekeeper of all things pertaining to your own child do not count.
We should have known there was some bad ju-ju with that team. It is always a bad sign when the team's own parents do not sit together on the bleachers.
We looked across at the sparse display on the other side of the field, and noted that all 11 or 12 parents who attended the game were scattered across the bleachers.
Whereas our team all sits together, huddled together in camaraderie and mutual support and admiration. That is always a good marker of the team's character or lack thereof--when the team's own parents cannot even tolerate to sit within slapping distance of each other.
First half we scored quick, and Doe was having a good game. She was up and energetic, making some good contact with the ball and had some incredible passes off to teammates. Doe is an excellent midfielder, she is quick and light on her feet, and has a touch on the ball that cannot be undermined. She is in the perfect position for causing the forwards to get a good break away or a fast break to the goal. It is an exciting position to play in, and truthfully one of the more important positions on the field. No she does not get the glory of making the goals (although she had made two the night prior in a game against Greeley) but she does get the assist.
Second half the Mountain Range players were getting more aggressive, with some pushing and shoving from behind. The number #10 player had a target on her due to the fact that she had tripped Bean earlier, and our parents were starting to get a little bit more vocal with their disapproval of her play.

About two minutes into the second half, Doe has the ball and is moving from the goal line down the sidelines. 10's mistake was to make her attack on Doe right in front of a parent on our team with his camera and a telephoto lens; Doe has full possession of the ball and is moving exceedingly fast, she claims now as fast as she could, with the ball to midfield. 10 decides she's not going to tolerate that, collides with Doe at the same rate of speed, upends her off her feet and causes her to flip onto her side, where subsequently 10 dives into her and subsequently breaks her collarbone. 10 never made any contact with the ball, and that was never her intention. 

I watch the collision, see the 10 get the Yellow card, and don't even notice 10 leaving the field. Doe is down on the field on her back, not moving. She is surrounded by her teammates and then her coach who runs out onto the turf. She bends to talk to Doe, who is not moving except for her right hand goes up to pull on her chin.
"Get up oh get up get up get up get up" standing now. I think she has broken her neck. 

Beloved has already left and is walking down to the gate as her coach waves him over. 

Tank is under the bleachers with a friend as I walk over. The teammate's dad says "I got the whole thing on film if you want to see it" and  I said sure. Big mistake. 

The impact photo of 10 colliding with Doe will not be shared on this blog :(. It's not pretty. 

As we were attending to Doe at the hospital, our team was bombarded with catcalls and yells of "flopping" and how our girl was "faking it" and showed "good acting". Doe's coach towards the end turned around and gave the parents the whatfor. I would have paid folding money to see that. This coach is not the retiring sort, and for that I am grateful. I think our girls had seen and heard enough from that team, as they were all crowing about how they could hear the collarbone break on the field. 

Drove to the ER, Beloved in the car in front of us and Tank and I following behind. 

Xrays were taken from the hospital bed, and were excruciatingly painful.  

So the shot of morphine helped.  :)

Tremendously. 

Diagnosis: Obvious fracture of the clavicle. No physical activity for 6-8 weeks. She is to wear this 'figure 8' brace for as much as possible. The purpose of the strap is to pull the shoulders back and allow the bone to settle back into position. Because the break happened so close to the neck, surgeon is asking for another Xray in a week to determine any shift. If no real change has occurred we will be looking at possible surgery to place a rod in the shoulder. He was not pleased with the steep angle of the broken bone.

Broken collarbone iz no funneh. 

In the following game, the Varsity team from Mountain Range played just as vicious. Doe's good friend was given a substantial concussion and has been home from school this week due to a knee to the head. The girl has been told by the Doctor to avoid all Math homework for 3 days and all English homework for 2 days. While quite possibly an exhilarating diagnosis for the students, the meaning behind that prognosis is distressing. The brain needs a rest, and schoolwork can cause too much strain on those regions of the brain which need to recover.

So no, soccer is not a sport for sissies.