It was one of those mornings where I worried we might hurt someone.
Beloved left me at 5:30 am to head to campus to finish writing up a Final. He said he reset the alarm for 6:25. So when I woke up to the dog rustling in her pen I thought I had beat the alarm. Wrong. The alarm had been gonging for 35 minutes. Oh snap.
Literally one of those mornings when I did not have time to make our bed. Studies have shown people who make their beds every morning tend to be more organized and live happier lifestyles. Well I don't know about more organized. I like to have the bed made so I can dump the laundry on it from the dryer and then have it sit there on a flat surface until that night when I dump it onto the floor (kidding! just kidding!) Beloved and I have a rule whoever gets out of bed last makes the bed. Oh the comedy that ensues on weekend mornings!
Thankfully both children are up. Tank is incredibly fully capable of feeding himself now in the mornings. God is good. Bumpo was up and fussing with her outfit and her hair.
"Those shoes make you look like a duck" says her loving and ever-mindful older brother.
"Tannnk that's not very nice. Bunp your shoes are adorable."
"Thanks Mom."
Tank: "Well Mom your shoes make YOU look like a duck, too!"
I think I may have said something like "Well your mouth makes you sound like a turd" but I hope they didn't hear that.
Being the ever vigilant mother against school lunches, I slapped together two separate lunches but spent the next ten minutes trying to find paper bags (Item 1 on my shopping list for today, apparently!) Multiple conversations ensued "I NEED YOU TO FIND ME A BAG FOR YOUR LUNCH". Bumpo graciously tossed down a TJ Maxx bag, which snagged in the wreath at the bottom of the stairs. Still eternally grateful for her. Tank and I had a few more interactions where I sternly suggested he find me a lunch bag. I think he just really wanted me to give him cash for lunch, but seeing as that would entail me digging through sticky car cushions for change, I insisted on the bag item. Finally he tugged a large canvas grocery shopping bag, the size of a large bag of cat food (check Item 2 on the shopping list!) and said "here use this".
God I love that kid. No compunction whatsoever about using a bag that large for a pitiful slapped-together homemade lunch.
As I am heading out the door to take Tank off to school (his classes start 10 minutes earlier than his sister's) I hear a plaintive wail "Wait what? Where's Dad? Who's taking me to school?!"
"I am. I'll be right back!"
"Wait you should have left like two minutes ago, Mom? I'm gonna be late!"
"No you won't."
Then the panic sets in. Where are my keys. Where.are.my.keys. I make a quick round 'round the house for my purse. Thankfully I spot my purse on the couch, where I had jettisoned it last night. I had to switch cars because my baby, my Suburban, is in the shop getting maintenance. See this all started last night. The world shifted because I had to leave my car in the shop.
"MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW!" another plaintive wail from the upstairs.
Then I said the two words I never like to say.
I told her to Shut up. I told her to Shut up and then when she argued again I told her to Shut up. Again. Oh I was in a rare form this morning.
She's 13. Thirteen. Which is really no excuse.
I need to be the adult in this scenario. I need to show restraint and poise and calmness under pressure. Which all flew out the window when for a third time she told me I needed to leave. I need to model self-control.
"Mom you better leave right now!" (Gah she sounds just like her mother. )
"FINE I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW BUT I AM GOING TO DRIVE REALLY REALLY SLOW."
Aw yeah. Rill mature Mom. If it's any consolation I'm still embarrassed that I told her to shut up.
Got Tank dropped off at school (seriously people? You've had children in the public school system for nearly a decade, if not more. Who parks head-first in the drop off lane? Who? Who? I'm looking at YOU Lincoln Navigator!)
Make all two traffic lights back to the house all the while having an internal conversation about driving safely and not striking some student who is jaywalking across Conifer from the gas station. I swear those children need to wear bright orange safety vests. With the trees from the gas station landscaping and the nearby apartment complex they are truly invisible until they appear magically in the center of the road. I am duly paranoid about students jaywalking against the traffic on Conifer. ( I yelled at a cat once for running out in front of us on the road. I was shaking as I pulled the car over to the side, got out to check and see if I'd hit it, and saw it cowering in the tall grass in the field by the roadside. I walked over to it, said "You dumb cat! I almost hit you!" and then got back in my car to drive away. But hey I didn't tell it to Shut up at least).
Make it home. Pull up to the front of our house honk the horn once and here comes Bumpo in her duck shoes and her Texas Tech tshirt.
"Youre going to need to write me a late pass, Mom." (Me: I don't have a bra on. I don't go inside any public building without a bra on.)
"No I'm not you have ten minutes till your first class." (It's either that or I go home and put on some underpinnings).
"No Mom the bell rings at 7:30. It's a passing period. You have to be in class by 7:40."
(I say nothing but internally tell myself, did I not just say that myself?)
Make the traffic light, praising Jesus all the way through and turn right onto the street to school.
"Mom. You can slow down now."
Now keep this in mind. I'm not driving my Burb. I'm driving Tank's Jeep. The turquoise one from the 90's. It is a fun little car to toodle around in. Whenever you press the accelerator it makes this fun "rumrummmrumrumrummrummmm" sound. Makes it seem like you really are a pioneer. It only sounds a little less refined than my Suburban. I'm driving no less unsafely in this vehicle.
"Mom do I look okay?"
"Yes honey I think you look cute. I think your shoes are cute. You don't look like a duck."
"Thanks Mom. I was going to be self-conscious about that all day."
Then we have a brief discussion about what the term "consider the source" really means when someone insults you.
Get Nat to the front of her school, she jumps out says 'bye Mom, and I say "Bye Nat. Love you. Jesus bless you.' Like I always do.
Get nearly sideswiped by a silver Prius with a Bernie 2016 bumper sticker on it (Jesus bless you too!) and head out.
Then it happens.
I hear a bird singing. Literally the clouds parted and the sun shone right on my turquoise Jeep and I hear this robin trill out this joyous little song. It was glorious. I settled back in my seat and felt like this literal weight be lifted off of my chest. Like someone had been pressing on my shoulders all morning and they backed away.
I took a deep cleansing breath, drove my car back to Lemay Ave, and headed home. Made it through another morning.
I am grateful for mornings like this. So often we need some sort of release from the stress. Be it yoga or a long run or a good workout at the gym. And I am going to go out with my dog later for a few miles.
But I am grateful for that bird. I am grateful that it chose that particular moment to sing so loudly that I could hear it through my closed window of my car as I was driving home. I am grateful that I could hear it, that I could appreciate it, and I could believe that the little bird was a sign that things get better.
That despite mornings with 'shoes like make you look like duck' comments and unmade beds, and canvas grocery sacks for lunch bags, that God still provides moments like this for us to cherish. I am grateful that I could sense the peace that came from being alone in the car on the way home, that I could be with my kids on their short drives to school, and that the sun is out and it is going to be a glorious day.
